Losing My Religion

It does count, I am sure. :)

Marcy, if its any consolation, I lost my religion in terms of worshipping a God t more than 30 years ago. Many more religions have come and gone since those teenage years....some have involved people, others have involved activities....and there will be more to come.

So yes, what you do on Sundays nowadays more than counts.

Remember when I said you could sum up my thoughts better than I could? Yeah, you did it again.

I understand how you feel completely. I used to go to church every single Sunday and be the overly religious person I thought I should be. Over time, I fell away from the church because I didn't really know what to believe. I went from being a devout Christian to Buddhist to agnostic and back again. I do know that you can find spirituality in places other than a church and you'll know it when you find it.

anon--thank you. i appreciate that. :)

jc--i wonder sometimes if it is an age thing, or whether maybe all the old folks who still faithfully attend church really believe or if they've simply gotten so used to going or ingrained that they can't imagine not doing it. i suppose only time will tell for me. i haven't stopped believing completely, but it sure has changed from what it was.

andy--either you are an old soul (coz i am way older than you) or i am immature for my advanced age! i think it might be a bit of both. :) i think you're right about looking for and finding spirituality in many different places. i need to keep myself open to the possibilities, although technically i still consider myself a christian. i'm just not sure of the details anymore.

The details, I've found, are the least important part. If you find it makes your day (or week) brighter to go to the gym and spend time with your husband, then I say that's as good (or better) than any church you're going to find. Everyone has beliefs and everyone has faith in SOMETHING and as long as you're able to do the things that soothe your soul, you're doing pretty well!

My biggest problem with religion is hypocrisy. So many people do horrible things, yet seem to think that they are a good person just because they go to church every week. I'm sure we all know people like that. I also have a problem when people do horrible things in the name of religion. In some cases, God and religion seem to be used as excuses for people to do whatever they like. My 'religion' is just like yours Marcy - do what makes you feel happy (as long as it's not some of those 'horrible things' I've been referring to, hmmmm there's a major loophole!) and whatever works to keep yourself balanced and calm. For me, it's running, listening to music, writing and spending time with loved ones. And I get a hell of a lot more pleasure outta that than I ever did sitting in a church listening to someone banging on about stuff that never made sense to me anyway! I have serious problems with Noah especially - I mean come on. The perfect chance to leave behind all those foul creepy crawly creatures, and what does he do? Takes the whole lot. How's anyone supposed to come to grips with that? Eejit.

We could talk at length on this one, mjrc! For what it's worth, I haven't been a regular church-goer since I moved out of my parents' house and went to college (b/c my mom wasn't making me go anymore, basically). I have plenty of problems buying in b/c of the hypcrisy Agnes pointing out, numerous competing philosophies that all seem basically the same and all want to convince you that they are the "true" religion, and basically not even buying the concept of a higher power from the start. I say working out and spending time with your husband are two of the best things you could possibly do on a Sunday, and far more important in both the short and long runs than church.

I'm on the other side of this. After decades of not going to any sort of church, I started up with a regular weekly Buddhist meeting and its the best thing I've ever done. No, it's not perfect. Yes, there's all sorts of hypocrisy and stupidity involved, but that's inevitable whenever you get a group of Great Apes sitting around trying to act fancy. What's important about it is the sense of community, the joint effort to achieve, even if only briefly and half-assedly, some sort of more-than-animal state of being.

An, no, "doing whatever makes you happy" doesn't qualify as spirituality. Scratching my nuts makes me happy, but I'm pretty sure it's not spiritual.

So I'd encourage you to give it another go sometime, but stay open to other paths. Believe it or not, you may find that other paths that don't involve ritual symbolic cannibalism are more meaningful and satisfying. ;-)

How about flinging poo? That's always made me feel more content, and at one with Nature. ;)

i've had a hard time responding to some of your comments because i actually feel guilty about what i've said, even though it's true. it's so complicated for me. i used to really, really get something out of my church experience, my relationship with god, but now i'm just confused. maybe it's a realization that there's just so much mystery to it all that i can't comprehend it, but without some kind of comprehension i feel lost entirely. i think i might try the unitarians when i decide to go back. :)

I attended a Unitarian church when I lived in the Midwest. It was great.. I had never attended a service where the congregation would interrupt the “ sermon” with questions and rebuttal. It was like a big, raucous family dinner only without the food, booze and inevitable cursing. I live in the deep south now and within a week of moving here I was told if “you don't believe in god and football you don't belong in the south.” While I'm still here, I haven't found a church I feel comfortable with, am unsure of my feelings toward religion and God ... but one thing I know with absolute certainty football is not my sport.

are there any unitarians in the deep south? ;-) i'm not sure i could deal too well with the love the church/football dictum myself. best of luck with finding something you can feel comfortable with. :)

"i've had a hard time responding...because i actually feel guilty"

Oh, so you must be Catholic, then... ;-)

Mentok's comment has jogged me out of my poo-flinging stupor. Why on Earth should anyone feel guilty about not going to church if you have genuine doubts about religion, spirituality, etc.? That's like saying you feel guilty about the war in Iraq because you didn't support the invasion.

I believe: A person's beliefs are a personal matter between themselves and any maker they care to believe in. There's nothing in that relationship that merits guilt, in my book. And anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for not going to church doesn't have your best interests, spiritual or otherwise, at heart, no matter how well-intentioned they may be (like my mother, for example).

I haven't been to church in years, and have always gotten a lot more out of sitting on the end of a pier for an hour just listening to waves lapping against the pilings or taking a long hike than going to church. I got over my (parent-induced) guilt about that a long time ago. It's too personal a matter to let other people's opinions intrude.

honestly, the only person imposing any sort of guilt on me is me! i mean, sure, there are historical forces in play here, but i'm the only one who's putting any pressure on myself. and i'm not even catholic! :)