Contrast Podcast Asks, Do You Have a Secret?

     Today the contrast podcast is all about secrets. Go here to hear what everyone's got to say. I'll bet there are a few juicy ones.

     I thought hard about this, because of course there are things about me nobody knows. The tricky part was deciding which one to share. After all, this will live on in perpetuity, so I don't want to reveal anything too incriminating.

     I decided to go with one that is sort of two-fold. It's part facetious and part sincere. The silly part is that sometimes I feel like a 30-something-year-old man trapped inside an older woman's body, especially when it comes to music. If you didn't know I was a woman and read my blog just for the music I post, I bet you'd think I was a guy. OK, maybe a slightly feminine one, but still, a guy.

     What that admittedly odd feeling leads to is my real secret, which is that I'm kind of vain. Not obsessively so, not about everything, but I do worry about looking older than I am.

     Let me explain. Recently there were tons of photos of Caroline Kennedy floating around and I thought she looked really bad in some of them: Lined face, circles under her eyes, rather drawn and just not pretty. Granted, she is older than I am, but not a whole lot, and when I look at those pictures of her it's like looking into a mirror of sorts and I can't stop myself from thinking, Holy crap, is that what I look like?? 

     Now, don't get me wrong. I would never have plastic surgery to make myself look younger (which I don't think it ever does, actually, it just makes people look like they've had plastic surgery). I don't even dye my hair (mainly because I'm too lazy), but still, I'm good with the gray for the most part. (I do hesitate to wear it up, though, because most of the gray is underneath, so apparently I'm not 100% OK with it!) I don't dress like a teenager or wear tons of makeup, either, because I'm also sort of afraid of looking like I'm trying to look younger than I am.

     (Yes, I'm aware that I have issues around this issue!)

     Come to think of it, the only thing I do to try to slow down the aging process is exercise, but I do that for other reasons, too. I'd never have been able to keep it up if it were only about appearances, believe me.

     But what can I say, I just don't want to look any older than I actually am. I think underneath that fear is the desire to stay relevant and vital. I don't want to be that person who can't keep up and lets things pass her by because she feels like she's too old.

     And there you have it, my secret is out. How about you, do you have anything you'd like to share?

Kevin Drew--"Aging Faces / Losing Places" mp3 off Spirit If . . . (buy)

p.s. Talk about sharing secrets, do you ever visit post secret, the site where people send in their secrets anonymously on post-cards? It's very interesting and often moving to read what people keep bottled up inside.

p.p.s. I found this article that talks about how to stay looking younger longer. They studied identical twins and compared their faces. Interestingly enough, if you have a few pounds on you, it actually fills out your face and you look younger (if you're over 40, that is). It also helps if you've worn sunscreen religiously and don't smoke. Unfortunately, if you take anti-depressants, it kind of makes your facial muscles relax and look droopy, so that makes you look older . . . 

p.p.s. I almost forgot--next week's podcast theme is "When I was 21 I liked," so climb into your time machine and try to remember back in the day . . . I'm not sure where that leaves those of you who aren't 21 yet--I guess you'll have to try and predict the future!

tags: contrast podcast  secrets  

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